gothlolita:

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

idiotsonfb:

yeah Antony… “kind of”

repeating-serenity:

my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”

shadow-of-a-whisper:

likeevanslovedpotter:

theconsultingdominatrix:

I have no idea and I’m sorry

I WAS SINGING GIRL ON FIRE WHILE I WAS SCROLLING AND I GOT TO THIS POST AND I SCREAMED

*laughing and crying at the same time*

ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

foodtrucker:

waking up and getting up are two very very different things

the-absolute-best-gifs:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

hownowbrownseacow:

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Fantastic.

zackisontumblr:

if you ever have children you could introduce them to people by saying hey wanna see what i made

ryaninwonderland:

who ever said high school was the best 4 years of their life must have had a really fast metabolism and was probably really popular and had lots of friends and got good grades and did not have social anxiety 

laugh-addict:

” OMG, oh well!”